On this day eight years ago, I said yes to an eternity with a man I’d only known for six months. I thought I knew a lot of things back then – I thought I knew what that yes meant. I know now that there were many more things I didn’t know.
I didn’t know then just how hard being a parent would be. How grateful I would be, on multiple nights and countless occasions, that I wasn’t parenting alone. That I would need him to step in and say, “Let me do this.”
I didn’t know then that my first boy would have his kind and gentle heart, that my second boy would have his confidence and ability to think outside of the problem, that my daughter would have his inviting smile, soft eyes, and easy laughter.
I didn’t know then that I’d one day convert him into a dog lover, and that eights years in, he’d be the one saying, “But look at those eyes!”
I didn’t know then that he would also one day become a country lover, and want to own a farm. That we would go back and forth between daydreaming about traveling the world in a motorhome, and owning 15 acres all to ourselves.
I didn’t know then what it meant to stand beside someone as they battled their own wars, supporting from the outside but unable to fight for him.
I didn’t know then what it meant to put someone else’s needs above my own, to love someone else more than myself. Maybe I thought I knew how to do that when I entered into marriage, but I know now I really had no clue.
I didn’t know then what it meant to worship God together, to fall to our knees together and beg for the same thing from our loving Heavenly Father – or, even more realistically, ask for different things and be okay when the answer wasn’t my own but his.
I didn’t know then the pain of a real fight, the desperate desire to make it better, to do anything to keep it all together, the real risk of losing it all.
I didn’t know the sweet relief of resolution and compromise.
I didn’t know these things then, and I didn’t even know I didn’t know them. This means I also know now that I have no idea what else I don’t know. …But I’ve got a pretty good feeling that that doesn’t matter. Whatever the future holds, we’ll face it well. We’ll face it together.
I love you, my best friend and companion.
Our past anniversaries: